The Alex Show - Episode 47

A mere second ago.

FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN 

Sometimes I backtrack. I try so hard not to, but hands contain their own minds at times. I look at old ramblings, but it appears I am conversing inward. Was I cast on the outside? Was I that lonely? Have my movements been moved? Have the roots been uprooted? Does the past never last? Or is fiction my new addiction?

I love the contrast. I hate my eviction.

FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN

I am sorry for what I have done, and for what I will never do.

- afm

scribble scribble scri

this is twice now since the last time i was scribbling out the pages that took me ages to write i compiled compilations of endless situations but i defiled the truth i was claiming to find i mistook every gesture as a sardonic motion proving that i think each movement moves around me now what have i proven absolutely nothing nothing other than the fact that i crave to be lonely it's the only way i know how to live it's the only way i can hope to survive because if i ever reach the peak then what more will i seek if there's no more mountain to climb will i perch atop the tallest tree and watch the world move beneath me out of range from its judgment out of control's orbit or better yet will i chase my regrets stand up take a breath and dive dive and let the current take me dive and be a slave to the sky will the wind carry my limbs off to safety or will my body splatter on the ground like a fly on the windshield of a speeding car afar afar afar from the origin of what was in question this is thrice now and even i am uninterested can i be done now i am finished

- afm

Smokescreens in the Desert

I walked for so many centuries/ For so many centuries I walked and found nothing/ on the inside/ On the inside is where I should have been searching/ I walked for thousands of centuries/ I stopped tracing my steps once I noticed I made a ring/ a ring with my footprints/ I was just circling/ tracing the outlines/ outside of my own mind/ in fear of my own thoughts surfacing/ I walked for millions of centuries/ I walked and found nothing/ but trampled pavement/ flattened foreground/ I took a chance on not a thing/ Not a thing will change me/ All of this walking/ all of this distance only to find/ my direction is aimless/ My mission is empty/ empty as my steps/ empty as my mind

- afm

Sellout

I bought a book to read your thoughts.
I bought a harp to pull your strings.
I bought a knife to cut you out.
I bought a plane to find myself.
I bought a house to have an outlet
While hiding behind walls
I never put up.
I bought a lamp, but not a plug.
This could have been enlightening.

I bought a gun to shoot my foot.

- afm

The Alex Show - Episode 46

Fragments. Never trust someone with the whole.

FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN

_____: You broke my heart.

ALEX: It was never mine to break. I never stole your heart, _____.

_____: You don't have to take something in order to possess it.

ALEX: I never asked for it.

_____: You don't have to want something in order to possess it, either.

ALEX: Funny.

_____: What about this is funny to you?

ALEX: The whole idea of giving your heart to someone. There are too many fallacies. You can't open your heart to someone without it breaking. If your heart truly is broken, _____, there is nothing I can do to fix it, but you can still pick up the pieces.

_____: And do what with them? 

ALEX: Distribute accordingly.

FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN

Fragments. I picked up some of my own. I still have the pieces.

- afm