The Alex Show - Episode 59

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ALEX: I haven't slept the past two nights for intervals longer than thirty minutes. I keep having these realistic, vivid dreams. Dreams where you and I are talking at the bar, or dreams of getting up and going to work; dreams of fighting with her. I swear, I've lived a whole week within this time. I woke up at 5AM today thinking it was Saturday. It isn't.

____: I'm sorry. That must be confusing.

ALEX: I think I'll try this _-____ _____ was talking about. Trying something is better than nothing at this point.

____: I feel you.

ALEX: I can't keep my eyes open, ____. I'm drinking coffee right now. I never drink coffee.

____: Do you use any kind of white noise to conceal your thoughts? There's nothing worse than sleeping in utter silence when your own thoughts are the sole things keeping you awake.

ALEX: I have a fan.

____: That's good. And do you have a routine?

ALEX: A routine? Give me an example.

____: You know, certain things you do to get restful. For me there's a whole process of getting undressed, doing girl shit, figuring out what I'm wearing tomorrow, etc. It's the routine I have to complete before I can even attempt sleep.

ALEX: Drink all the alcohol. That's generally my routine.

____: Well, being that we already established that toxic nightcaps are 100% counterintuitive... anything else?

ALEX: Lots of sex always helped.

____: Does masturbating not do the trick?

ALEX: Masturbating takes five minutes. Sex takes... longer than that. It is a tad bit more physical.

____: Then maybe you should exercise to exhaustion and then rub one out. What then?

ALEX: Hah. I guess that's about the same. You and ___ were ranting about how you need your space to sleep, but honestly, I think I've grown accustomed to sleeping with someone else. Not so much "someone else," but _____ was my drug. Less nightmares, less awakenings, more consistent sleep when I was with her... even when I was sober.

____: That's what I'm getting at, Alex. It has to do with comfort. Same as it is for ___ and me as it is for you. What makes you comfortable is very different from us, however, it's about what makes us all feel at ease. It's all a head-game. It sucks to realize that, but it's true. If you want to fall asleep comfortably, it's all about routine.

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She was my routine.

- afm