Friday, December 12, 2014

tree limbs

i'm like a tree
with outstretched branches
reaching for the heavens.
my head in the clouds,
my roots in the ground,
and when i reach my end,
i will not ascend,
but be cut down.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

mirror move

my leg is broken, being dragged across the uneven pavement
i'm a tortured sole
to let it breathe would be stifling
i'd choke on that freedom
i'd hide in open spaces
biding my time as time erases
the act of treason
i'd plead guilty before the hammer falls
before it's even risen
no need to stand
or lift your hand
i'll keep mine folded in
mirror like movements
anticipated and fraudulent
keep it folded in
tucked away in your jacket pocket
never to be picked
held tight to your breast
keep it folded in
fabricated and adjacent
mirror like movements
before the thought's conceived
you'd plead innocent before the mouth bleeds
the act of treason
biding your time as time erases
you'd hide in darker places
you'd choke on that suspicion
to give release would be trifling
you're a tortured soul
my leg is broken, being dragged across the pavement

it's even now

Thursday, November 6, 2014

The Grass is Always Greener

i fertilized the soil
with what was left of you,
and as i raked up the leaves
last fall
i couldn't recall
which remnants were from the trees
or from that of a man,
so i dispensed them
into the same steel can,
and it made no difference
at all.

the grass has never looked so green.

- afm

Monday, October 27, 2014

Unmoved to the Tune of Being Removed

There's nothing you can say
To turn me away
My hair will become peppered gray
Or fall out
Before I ever find the door
It wasn't me you were searching for
But here I am before you
A statue

A body tangled in
This hollowed skeleton
As pallid as you've been
In relation
The sun will never shine
On the colder side
'Twas the heavenly divine
That divided
Me from you

You can turn the other corner
You can outline all the borders
Don't cross 'em if you dare
If you dare to, they'll be removed
You can turn another corner
You can chalk up all the borders
It's just my body
Adjust my body and the tune
You carried it to

Sunday, October 5, 2014

The Alex Show - Episode 65

Young and blissfully ignorant, I gaze up into the sky.

"God is taking a picture of you. Smile!"


Lightning strikes, illuminating the darkness, vanishing in an instant. If not for splitting the earth we would never know it occurred. Nature is as dangerous as it is beautiful. Though presently aware of its risks and repercussions, we continue to carelessly bask in its splendor.  The field we stand in, however, has been burned. We move onto the next.

The storm is subsiding - or at least moving onward - and it is impossible to keep pace. A new device is needed; assembly required. We chase it with steel rod in hand, but to no avail. We acquire other man-made objects and a few good meters of string, something to tie it all together. Take wind, reach up, and pray for rain. Nothing. We rise up from the ground. The storm will come. It always does.

The chase continues.

You don't know what you've got till it's gone. The same idea applies when you reverse it. What you don't know won't hurt you. What we don't have can't either. For centuries we were chasing storm clouds, now we're running from them. Little did we know, it was safer where the field was burned. After all, lightning does not strike the same spot twice.

Old and wistfully enlightened, I gaze up into the sky.

"God is taking a picture of you. Smile!"

"No, that's just lightning."

- afm

Friday, October 3, 2014

The Checkered Crucifix

under the flashing lights
tracks are rumbling
hands held tight
to the armrest
beneath the checkered crucifix
our souls sit
as we wait for it to rise
permission to persist
the tires tread
the metallic lines
creating a spark
but never starting fire
to the checkered crucifix
patiently still
we cling tighter
aware of how easy
it would be to circumvent
any minute now
is a constant reminder
of its insignificance
anticipated, repeating
for life is as fleeting
as the train now retreating

we are ready to cross
the crucifix is risen

- afm

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The Lord's Dare

Lord, I've traveled lonely, shook off all of my minions,
Took my hits and then some, fought for my opinions.
Lord, I bet on some things, but I won't bet on millions.
Curse me down, destroy me. Scratch out my existence.

Lord, I'm low and wandering. Rid of my oppression.
Hell-bent from my suffering, stripped of my transgressions.
Lord, I cast out most things, but I won't give up freedom.
Surrender myself to better myself, a gamble more than a mission.

All you wanted was to tame
A stubborn man to learn from his mistakes.
All I wanted was to know
If our lives are just the same as those below.

I guess I'll wait until the end
To find out if my body will descend.
I guess I'll wait until my time is completed
To admit that I'm defeated.

- afm

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Ropes for Curtains

Cradled in my youth,
The agonizing truth
That I'll never be as whole as I once was.
It seems the more I learn,
The less I tend to yearn
For something real and pure.
I traded in all possessions
For otherworldly obsessions.
I bought the poison with the sum,
And spilled it in my ear.
The worst I fear is closing in,
And all I want is to give in.

Covered in my skin
This hollowed skeleton,
Whose bones are merely ropes for curtains,
Is waiting to jump out,
And turn it all around,
But my tendons lack the same intentions.
My muscles can't muster the strength
To keep my cursed hands at bay.
The other side is at arm's length.
I'm craving its embrace.
The worst I fear is closing in,
And all I want is to give in,
But I won't.

Cradled in my youth, longing for those days.
It's the agonizing truth, that nothing stays the same.
Sometimes you have to lose, to realize all you've gained.
Cradled in my youth, longing for those days.

- afm

Friday, June 13, 2014


there was a fly
glued to the television screen
aren't we all
and since he was glued
unable to move
i shuffled over to him
and swatted him away
there was another fly
circling me relentlessly
as if he was a bee without a stinger
and i had stolen the honey
so i ran to the kitchen
flicked the switch
only to discover
there were several more flies
hovering about me
i struck them down
one by one they fell
one by one they came
for every fly defeated
emerged one the same
there were many flies
perched upon my legs
and perched upon my face
a spider would sense breathing
and eight legs would race
there were no webs in the doorway
so i continued striking down
but the source could not be found
only the sound of their blaring buzz
there were countless flies
atop a pile of my clothes
i don't suppose someone is buried
in the ground
i took out the trash
i washed the dishes
yet no culprit was uncovered
something was missing
throughout my search
the flies still perched
and buzzed about my tired head
instead i thought to block them out
so i ran to the bathroom
and locked them out
i flicked on the light
but the darkness stood
at least the flies were gone for good

zzz zz zzzzzzzz

there was a fly
on the mirror

- afm

Friday, March 14, 2014

The Alex Show - Episode 64

Sometimes self-preservation means abandoning all the things you hold close.


Spinning. That five-year old high, circulating at tremendous speeds and stopping abruptly, attempting to walk when the body knows it cannot. The body knows this simply because the mind tells it so.

ASIDE: It still amazes me how easily our mentalities reflect our physicality and vice a versa.

We trick our minds to believe that it is such a simple idea: one foot in front of the other. However, when sober and under police scrutiny (or any insurmountable amount of pressure) it is damn near impossible to perform effortless, natural tasks. Yet here we "stand," believing that life unfolds one event to the next, one foot after the other, page by page, so on and so on.

We have been spinning for some time now, or at least I have, and if you have been checking in and keeping track as often as I believe you do - since ratings are at minimum stagnant, and we have not yet been canceled - then you must be dizzy, too. It has been a "hot minute," as I would say, since I last personally addressed you, the audience. For that, I am far from apologetic. You get enough of me as is. Hell, the principle of getting implies that someone is giving, and I am as close to sharing as Kris Kringle is with his cookies. Everything has been stripped from me. You are all thieves.

I must revert back to the preface, before the flashes and spins. My only fear is that not a single element of this scripted plot being sincere. The sad thing is, the things I hold dear end up being the fears that I feared, adhered to the rules to dismantle the fool like fuel to a fire that only transpires once the buyer desists their yearning to continue burning the innocence of the defenseless protagonist. But there's always a twist. A new catalyst awaits in the wings.


A beautiful woman enters/is inserted/is strategically placed. The motions follow.

ALEX: I love you. I love every aspect about you. I love the way you love me. I cannot imagine you "changing" in a way that would result in me loving you any less. Besides, change is inevitable. I feel my love for you to be just as certain as that inevitability, so maybe my love will "change." It will change in the sense that it will grow. It will move just like the tides of your eyes. I love you, _____ ______, and I am going to keep on loving you. That is the only thing unchanging.

_____: I love you, too, Alex. I have never felt so loved by someone as I do with you. I am in love with the love you show me, but more than anything, I am in love with your beautiful heart. I can see it through your eyes and your smile. I can hear it in the the things you say, but more clearly than anything I can feel it. I feel so lucky.


Sometimes abandoning all the things you hold close means you are a self-destructive coward.

Please, if any wish I wished were to ever come true, please let this be real.

- afm

The Mountain

I've barely started the climb,
I can hardly see the peak,
Yet I already feel
The sharp, piercing edges
Of the rocks below
On the other side.

Friday, February 14, 2014

The Alex Show - Episode 63

"And even if it does…"


The room fell silent. The decrepit space-heater that I kept running continually even made its pause for sheer, dramatic effect.

ASIDE: It has always amazed me how such a small capacity can become occupied with so many things, yet if it weren't for our own movements nothing would stir, nothing would sound.

She lied on her side facing away from me. Symbolism, I'm sure. There she was right by my side - together, but refusing to acknowledge it. She was never a woman of many possessions, tangible or not, and though I wasn't a mere object to obtain, the idea of being hers was terrifying. After all, people are never afraid to lose something they do not possess.

I was eager to hear her response, but refrained from pushing it out of her. I wanted to say something, anything really, but everything had already been said and reiterated a hundred different ways a thousand times fold. I simply wanted to remind her I was still there, still waiting. The overly impatient space-heater picked up again cutting into our silent conversation. Maybe the space-heater never actually cut out. I did always keep it running. Maybe those moments of complete silence are actual times in which the world stands still. I kept my hands as still as that moment felt. I had all the time in the world to wait for an answer. I wasn't leaving until I had one. At least not this time.

"I love you," she quivered as if she had just stepped out of the ocean in February.

"Do you?" I asked monotonously. It hardly even sounded like a question.

"Truly I do," she replied breathlessly. She rolled over to face me now. Though she seemed agitated, I was happy to finally see her. Not only because it forced her to say these things of great magnitude directly to me, but also because I sincerely missed that face since the second she turned it away. "What else can I possibly do to assure you?"

"You can tell me what you're feeling when you're feeling it."

"But I can't express myself with words the way you can, Alex."

"Just tell me the emotion. You don't have to describe it in voluminous detail."

She laughed. "Horny."

"Well, that's obvious. What else?"


"Okay. What else?" I reached my arm around her waist, my hand cupping the curvature of her back.


"How are you worried if you feel safe?"

"I'm worried I'll lose that feeling. I felt safe with you before, and then you left. Everyone always leaves."

"Some come back."

"Sure, some do."

"I came back."

She sat up now, moving my arm away from her. "But what's going to keep you here this time? I haven't changed. I'm the same person I was then. Older, but none the wiser... clearly. We shouldn't be doing this. You're going to get bored of me, and then you'll leave. Again."

"You don't know that, and neither do I. All I know is now, ____. Don't give up on us without giving us a chance. Don't leave now."

"But I have nothing to lose now."

"Then you do not love me."


"… you'll just do it all again."

Every night I am exhausted before bed, but the second I lay my head down and close my eyes, all I hear is silence… the same deafening silence as the day you left, and suddenly the idea of sleep is as fleeting as the memory of holding you.

- afm

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Pull of the Tides

There's a world in you I never knew.
I'm still, yet I'm spinning at the same time.
All the things you find that once were mine
Are swiftly altered by your design.

I get lost in your eyes.
They're ever moving, changing like the pull of the tides.
A grain of sand is all I am,
But I feel like a mountain and you are the sky
Encompassing me.

Take your time to know me.
Compromise your surroundings.

Bittersweet sunrise
Brings the day and steals away my night.
I try to deny that the sun seems dimmer,
But you're the moon who makes the darkness bright.
You pull on me.

Take your time to know me.
Compromise your surroundings,
So you can fall into me.
We can fall, together we'll climb.

If you're the moon, then the tides are your eyes.
I've watched them move and crash into me.
A grain of sand is all I am, but I feel like a mountain
And you are the sky.