Cardboard Boxes and Little Houses

My body is weak.
My memory deceives.
My nature is cold
And condescending.
Your body is bleak.
Your memory repeats.
Your nature is bold,
But you're just pretending.

So let's get dolled up.
Let's play dress up
For a little while
Before we throw our smiles,
And we wake back up.

My eyes have grown tired.
My mind is still wired.
My bedroom is cold,
The walls unbending.
Your eyes are both liars.
Your mind will retire.
Your bedroom is old,
The sheets are blending.

After all these days,
After all this hate,
I'm still faking to miss you.

So let's get dolled up.
Let's play dress up
For a little while
Before we throw our smiles,
And we wake back up.

We're building little houses
Out of cardboard boxes.
Hanging the paintings we made
Out of strange things
We found on the ground
In the Spring.
Cutting windows with scissors
And taping
Plastic mirrors across the ceiling,
So we can see ourselves
As we're making...

So let's come back down.
Let's take it down
For a century
Because reality
Awaits for us.

- afm

cumstick

sometimes... i don't even know

One Bedroom Tango

I'm in love.
I'm in love.
I'm in love with the idea of being by myself.
Whether I'm falling in or out, I'm in love.

That's the funny thing
You're always falling
Trying to get up,
But you're always falling.
And if you're standing then it's stagnant,
Standstill, numbness.
So just let go.
Keep falling.

For just this once I want to sit in it.
Breathe it in
Without breathing out
Any feelings of doubt
Without choking on the fear
That I could breathe in air
That is far more clear.
I guess I'll take a different route.
So I exhale
Cuz my lungs fail
To hold me up and keep me intact.
(Falling, falling)
My organs flail
Like a styrofoam cup with a thumbtack in it
And once you take it out
I pour out
Every ounce of love
Every spec of trust
Filling that empty cup with fear
And boundless doubt.
Love turns to lust.
I hope you're ready for the drought.

I'm in love.
I'm in love.
I'm in love with the idea of being by myself.
Whether I'm falling in or out, I'm in love.

"I said I loved you. What happend?
You said you loved me. What happened?!"
I put a spell on you, girl, like magic,
But you believed it to be real.
Now that's tragic.

I'm always drunk.
All I do is drink.
I puke in public restrooms
And piss in every sink.
I'm always on the brink of fighting
The first motherfucker
Across the bar from afar
To mean mug me,
But secretly I know I'll never do it.
It's the same variety as my sobriety,
Secretly I know that I'll never do it.
So come at me bro. Commit to it.
I have other vices
Of all shapes and sizes.
Latin, african, and asian spices.
In a time of crisis I can hit em up,
Fuck,
But it never suffices to the way I feel
When I'm with you.
At least that's what I say
To each and every one of them every single night
And every single day I want them outta my sight.
Now that's the kinda fight I can live without.
After they ride me out
I ride it out.
I listen to their problems,
Head nods, sobbin.
Sad facts, shoulder pats,
Thigh tats, fine ass.
Fuck, I fucked her back to where we started.
Night falls.
(falling, falling)
The bars call.
(calling, calling)
More drinks, more sinks.
More deceptive thoughts I think.
An asshole at heart.
I keep it undercover.
I miss you.
I love you.
Come on over.
She said, "Tell me that you love me when you're sober.
She said, "Tell me that you love me when hungover."
But love is only real to me when I'm making it,
So take it, girl. Bend over.

I'm in love.
I'm in love.
I'm in love with the idea of fucking you up.
Whether I'm falling in or out, I'm in love.

"I said I loved you. What happend?
You said you loved me. What happened?!"
I put a spell on you, girl, like magic,
But you believed it to be real.
Now that's tragic.

That's the funny thing
You're always falling
Trying to get up,
But you're always falling.
And if you're standing then it's stagnant,
Standstill, numbness.
So just let go.
Keep falling.

I restored her faith in humanity?
I oughtta win the award for calamity.
I'm always bored
No matter what we did.
I could not afford to wife her up and have a kid.
I restored her faith in humanity?
I was molding the next Casey Anthony.
I cannot afford to remain in this discord.
Who's that talkin? My vanity/insanity.
It's not my fault that I let her go.
It's not my fault. I had to tell her so.
She said, "Little do you know, it takes two to tango,"
So I told her in this case,
She better learn the Macarena.

- afm

The Alex Show - Episode 51

You cannot miss what you cannot recall. 

Was it ever even there at all?

- afm

nursery in five four five

the things left unsaid 
are things we forget
while out of our heads
we'll feel no regret

silence is golden
gold is no token
hearts have been stolen
crumpled and broken

pick up the pieces
and keep them in place
once pain decreases
we'll open the case

in which they were kept
so safe and so sound
in which they have slept
and cannot be found

now much like our script
our hearts we forget
from our chests they slipped
we'll feel no regret.

- afm

take a deep breath

I drown myself in you.










I drown in you.




















I drown.

- afm

oh my sword

wrap your hands around my neck/ conduct to me what you'd expect/ to receive/ i can beg/ i can plead/ i can be the wreckage/ constructed beneath the sheets/ you know you want/ you know you want me/ but the feeling you crave/ is what you negate/ and once you obtain it/ you swiftly refrain/ but it's your flagrant need/ to be punished/ that keeps me going/ so keep me coming/ keep me coming/ lead me back to the start/ before this numbing oneness departs/ i don't want to feel real/ i don't want to feel anything/ i don't want to feel/ a thing/ so wrap your hands around my neck/ conduct to me what you'd expect/ to receive/ i can beg/ i can plead/ i can be the message/ you wish to concede/ you know you want/ you know you want me/ to fall on my own/ to fall on my own words/ to fall on my own sword

- afm