Saturday, December 29, 2012

Oh, Delirium

You are one hell of a drug.

The Translating Process


Don't mind me
My hands are exactly
Where they're supposed to be
Don't mind me
I'm just tightening the string
To hold you together
To tear you apart
Don't mind me
Your hands are exactly
Where I want them to be
Don't mind me
I'm just making sure there will be
No more loose ends
So we can pretend to fall
Even if we do
I'll play the villain
It won't be hard to fake the truth
When I'm portraying you
You'll play the victim
Reshaping the room
Before I disclose
The memories you entombed.

- afm

Friday, December 28, 2012

The Alex Show - Episode 45

Sometimes I wonder if she speaks of me. Whether it be to others, to herself or even in her head, I wonder if she ever speaks my name. It is not a selfish thought - it is clearly reciprocated. I am just curious if I had a deep enough effect on someone who deeply affected me.

Somehow, someday I'll be better.
Even if you can't remember my name
I bet you'll be missing me.

Those lyrics meant something else entirely when I wrote them. The idea is the same, but the subject has changed.

It's funny how time can heal all wounds while cutting new ones open.

- afm

The Alex Show - Episode 44

I fixate on the past all too often. I live with many regrets.

ASIDE: Living with regrets is something I will never regret.

I invent hypothetical situations, what-ifs. I dream.

I am so happy with how far I've come, but still not happy with who I am. "A place is only a place," I always say. "It's the people who make it a home." I am finally starting to learn the weight to that. I always thought the place I was referring to was a physical place, a location. Now I am starting to believe that - though the physicality still applies - it is a mental place, too. If anything, where you stand inside your head is more important than where your feet may land.
type of deal.

I have come to terms with the fact that I am unhappy. Unhappiness is rooted in me. No matter how good things get I'll always find something bad to uncover. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the pleasantries. I notice the little things. I venture out and fun is had. Still, I always feel like something is missing. It is now, in this very moment, that I am starting to believe that that thing I am missing is a part of me. It is something that was taken from me, or something I set down once, misplaced and forgot about. Since I don't know what it is, I have no means of obtaining it. Either it will find me, or it won't. Either I'll have it, or I won't, and maybe once I do have it, I will not recognize it as "it," and the world will keep spinning.

The show must go on.

- afm

I Pooped a Poop

To the tune of "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Misérables

There was a time my bum was kind,
When excretions were soft
And the bowl inviting.
There was a time when my behind
Was incredibly strong,
So strong and full of fighting. 
There was a time
Then it all went wrong.

I pooped a poop in times gone by
When turds were spry
And not misgiving.
I pooped so steady and so nigh.
I pooped with no thought of forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid
And poops were made when I was wasted.
There was no bar tab to be paid,
No beer standing,
No wine untasted.

But the Jager came one night,
And my choices were all blunders.
The shots tore organs apart,
And they turned my poops to pain.

I slept with bottles by my side.
I filled my mouth with whiskey wonders.
I took the bottle, opened wide,
But it was gone, the whiskey drained.

And still I poop when need it be,
And think when they were once like feathers.
But there are poops that cannot be,
Hard and thick as strapping leather. 
I had a poop instilled in me
So different from this poop I'm giving,
So different now before whiskey.
Now beer has turned
My poop to goop. 

- afm

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Les Misérables movie review

Les Misérables has never been a favorite musical of mine - not to say that I do not consider it exceptionally well-written, only that I am not particularly familiarized with it. I have only seen it a few times, and only performed by schools and amateur local theatres, so unlike most fanatics who consider Les Mis the most powerful musical in history, my opinions won't be nearly as personal, and therefore, not nearly as biased. That being said, though I had no prior intimate connection with Les Mis before today, I feel as if I am Marius and this film is my Cosette: I love it instantly! Well, maybe it's not that serious seeing as my love is not beyond measure or reason, but still, it is more than sheer theatrical excitement, it is rapture at its finest.

First things first, contrary to every single musical ever adapted to the silver screen, all of the singing performances in Les Misérables were recorded live, in real time. This enabled the actors to act/sing at their own pace with the accompaniment actually accompanying them as they would if performed on stage. It made all the difference.

Hugh Jackman was remarkable as the protagonist, Jean Valjean. I am always pleased to see Jackman venturing away from his Wolverine-esque roles and back to... acting. He has always been an incredible actor, and it was refreshing to see him showcase his talents yet again. His singing was spot on. You could genuinely feel every ounce of pain and rage during "What Have I Done?" and the ending high note at "Bring Him Home" was impressive to say the least. Also, I felt the true change in Valjean occurred after bargaining for Cosette and escaping from Javert. Valjean, a man who devoted his life to God, yet always had an inkling for revenge, finally was able to let go once he discovered the love he had for a daughter and his duty as a father. I'm not positive if that whole carriage part is actually in the original musical, but regardless, it was one of my favorite scenes.

If you watch the film this really goes without saying, but if Anne Hathaway doesn't win the Academy Award and the whole lot for Best Supporting Actress awards, I am going to start my own revolution! In the little time her character, Fantine, has on the screen, I - like most people - felt the most for her. I truly cannot critique on her acting and singing separately because much like it should be in any musical role, they were one in the same. Though Hathaway's singing was more than a wonderful surprise, I swiftly forgot about being impressed to being swept away in her entrancing performance. She breathed this role. "I Dreamed a Dream" is the defining song of Les Misérables. I have heard countless renditions of it over the years, some even before I learned it was from this musical. Hathaway's version takes the cake. It takes the whole damn cake. She didn't bother asking if anyone else wanted to try a piece or if they would like to take some home for leftovers. She just took the whole fucking cake. Sorry for randomly getting crude, but I have never been so moved by a musical piece before in my life, and to think that it wasn't even from the theatre? Preposterous. Seriously, she took all of the cake, and she'll take all of the Oscars, too.

I have always been a huge fan of Russell Crowe, but his take on Javert was somewhat disappointing. Sure, he hit the notes, and he acted the part, but I was unshaken by him. Javert is a villain, and Crowe was not nearly nefarious enough to portray such a villain. For starters, I wished his singing tone was lower, darker. Crowe is used to getting the quiet roles that pack an unexpected wallop (Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind), and though Javert is a tightly wound military man, he is also militant. His own self-loating is supposed to resonate in his obsession to capture Valjean. At no point in the film did I feel Crowe's exigency. Every action was monotonous (much like his singing).

Another let down for me was Amanda Seyfried. Though she didn't have much screen time - which was probably a good thing - her role as Cosette is the most essential part of the film. Cosette is supposed to be the one thing in the whole world Valjean and Marius are fighting for, yet Seyfried's take didn't make her at all deserving - both in desire and in acting praise. Don't get me wrong, she was far from terrible. She did do a baller job hitting that soprano1 note. Still, I feel as though they could have casted someone else.

The two hidden gems of the film were Samantha Barks and Eddie Redmayne. I later realized this is what Barks does best, learning that she played Eponine in the 25th Anniversary concert. Her solo, "On My Own," was a surprisingly sad part in the film for me, and her duet with Redmayne was beautifully executed. Speaking of which, I have seen Redmayne recently in the movie, Hick, and thought he was superb, but his role as Marius is bound to take his career to unforeseeable heights. The set of pipes on this kid! He transitions from his chest voice to his falsetto effortlessly in, "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables," another song that I wasn't expecting to rattle me as much as it did. Barks and Redmayne weren't two actors singing or two singers acting. Much like Hathaway and Jackman, they fused the two perfectly.

As far as cinematography, directing, sound effects, and a concluding paragraph goes, fuck that! I'm tired. Cough up the eleven bucks you may or may not have post-holidays and go see this movie already!

ps. For an inside look on how they recorded/shot Les Misérables, click here: Les Mis First Look

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

The Alex Show - Episode 43


ALEX: I have an obsession with Death, but he has such little interest in me.

_____: Patience is a virtue.

ALEX: So in that regard, death is a virtue?

_____: To an extent. Depends on how you look at it, I guess.

ALEX: What do you mean?

_____: Well, what does it mean to be virtuous? You have to have high moral standards, or at least a strong desire to possess them. The act of dying may not be considered righteous, but where it takes you depends on your virtues. We are all waiting for death. Death is the only thing in each of our lives that is certain, so whether we are sitting idly by for it to come and grasp us, or whether we are ignoring its inevitability altogether, it will come. Patience isn't mandatory.

ALEX: So in that regard, death isn't mandatory?

_____: Wait... dammit.


The illustrious lead has shaken her gown. 
The impious queen has rid of her crown. 
Set afire the creed, take a step down. 
Aspire to plead in the gravest of towns. 

Oh, how fortunate your misfortune,
Extorting your contortion.

- afm

You all were there, but only for your amusement.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Asian Taxman

"Oh, herro. I am rooking for a Mrs. _______."

"Um, yes. That is me."

"Oh, herro, young rady. We have noticed that you negrected to pay your taxes on time. I am here to correct them."

"Correct my taxes? Oh, thank god! I am so terrible with numbers!"

"I can terr. That's why I am here to correct your taxes!"

"Perfect! I always knew you people were good with math and stuff."

"Risten, rady. I'm just here to correct your taxes."

Monday, December 17, 2012

Sleeping with Death pt.I

Fear sets in once you face its existence.
If it stays persistent, embrace your dread.
Bask in your sickness.
Awake and arise with the dead.

Sunday, December 16, 2012


What if snakes could fly? Would you kill yourself immediately? I would. Could you imagine just walking from your car to your house, and a snake just flies by you? No thanks. "Goddammit, another snake pooped on me today!" Yuck. "Well, you know you need to go to sleep once the snakes start hissing." Also, if snakes could fly, they'd probably eat all the birds and make them extinct, or WORSE! What if snakes and birds started mating, creating the most horrifying creature of all: SNIRDS! No! God help us! THE SNIRDS ARE HERE!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

On Lima Beans

Why do lima beans exist? Like, who actually enjoys a lima bean? 
"Would you like a midnight snack?"
"Oh yeah, just make a bowl of lima beans please!"
No. No one would ever want that. Ever. 
All those years as a child I thought I hated mixed vegetables. False. I just hated lima beans. Whenever I get those bags of mixed vegetables, I always take out each and every lima bean, so no one has to eat one. I wouldn't wish a lima bean upon my greatest enemy. No on deserves that kind of cruelty. Also, in the phonetic alphabet, is it Lima or lima? Because Lima, Peru isn't very American, but then again neither are lima beans - since they are clearly terrorists... terrorizing my tastebuds and all. Seriously, I think it is our duty to take a stand against the lima bean. Perhaps we should take a national poll determining the future of their existence, at least in the mixed vegetable category. Sure, if you decide to go out and buy a bag of lima beans for your own sadomasochistic needs then that's fine, but it doesn't mean that the rest of us should have to suffer. Who's with me?!

Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! ...

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The Alex Show - Episode 42

There is always a level of innocence when it comes to curiosity. 



_____: Um... hi.

ALEX: How are you?

_____: Can we skip this part?

ALEX: Which part?

_____: The part where we pretend.

ALEX: I'm serious. I just wanted to know how you were - what you've been up to.

_____: I'm fine. I'm always fine.

ALEX: You don't sound fine. You sound... flustered. 

_____: Is there anything you need?

ALEX: Oxygen and fluids, namely. 

_____: Is there anything you need from me?

ALEX: A straight answer would be nice. 

_____: Listen, I can't do this. I mean, I can, but I won't. It's not fair to me. It's not fair to either of us.

ALEX: Well, I'm sorry. I was in a particularly good mood, and it made me wonder if you were in a good mood, too. Not every sporadic call has to be the end result of a bad day or a hopeless feeling. 

_____: Well, those are the calls I'm here for. Everything else can be remitted elsewhere. 

ALEX: I thought you said we would be able to do this one day. 

_____: I used to believe that, I truly did, and maybe one day we shall, but so long as I still... I just can't.

ALEX: Still what?!

_____: Please don't yell at me.

ALEX: I wasn't... I wasn't yelling at you. I was just...

_____: And please don't tell me you were yelling at the situation.

ALEX: Okay. I'm sorry. When then?

_____: When I'm ready. When I can hear your voice without remembering what it used to tell me. When I can see your face without remembering how it used to look upon me. When I can be with you without remembering what it was like to be with you. Then we can try to do this.

ALEX: What are we talking, months? Years? Centuries?!

_____: It's not something that I can measure, Alex! They said I needed time. They said time heals all wounds. I don't want more time. I just want to forget. 

ALEX: They also said repenting for your sins would dismiss them, but I will not repent from loving you. Loving you was never a sin. It cannot be forgiven or forgotten. 

_____: Why do you say things like that to me?

ALEX: What, the truth?

_____: Just because the truth is known doesn't mean it has to be said. For someone who claims to have loved me, you clearly have the opposite intention. 

ALEX: You act like I don't even have a heart.

_____: Probably on account of you acting so heartless. 

ALEX: I still have a heart, _____. I know how to use it, and more importantly, it knows how to use me. 

_____: It knows how to use me, too.



Curiosity killed the cat.

- afm