Tuesday, May 24, 2016


You were always You were always around I was distant I was resistant to be helped To be found You were hoping You could save me from myself, From my hell, But the best parts of you died Every time you tried Every time you failed I'll bite the bullet I'll take the pills They won't be the death of me Nothing will You sank your teeth in I sucked out the venom And swallowed it down You played the victim I played the villain Then we turned it around And back around The coalesced blood burned, But still we never learned once it formed We kept biting more I'll bite the bullet I'll take the pills They won't be the death of me Nothing will You'll sink your fangs in And take my will You can be the death of me I'll love you still Colourless in the air Breathe me in Poisonous; you don't care Drink me in

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

The Alex Show - Episode 76

To circumvent the past events won't correct the present tense it makes no sense to frequent the cycle of being spiteful to faultless rivals you may as well remain idle while circling your malcontent repent repent repent carry on for your survival


ASIDE: I live in the past herein again. I bid adieu, minus seventy-two.

The stairwell is a descending letter L, crooked and droopy. When I think of an object that droops, I imagine it being limp, lifeless even. This is a jagged droop, though, like half opened scissors in a pocketknife.
ASIDE: A pocketknife is not practical in dire situations if you do not have long fingernails.
I am sitting on a leather couch. It is red, but faded, easily mistaken for maroon or a light brown. I have room for two more, but I greedily decide to sprawl out. While examining the building internally, I can see its pulse. Even when we sleep we breathe, and this building is no different. Its heart pounds, and blood pulsates through its walls. The chambers are still, but they digest everything consumed within the last hours of their consciousness. I can hear it. I can see it. If only I could feel it, perhaps my heart and belly would start moving in a different rhythm.
My brain is abandoned all too often. It thinks incessantly, but rarely about its self. Now is different, and so it wonders, "Self, why do I not fixate on my own being? Aside from rarities such as now, why is this building directing me?" To my brain's own knowledge there will be no answer. If it thought like it generally plays chess it would have known this ahead of time. However, it persists, "When do I truly know things ahead of time? When does any brain? We can guess, we can predict, but I do not think we can know. See? I do not even know if I can know!" In its world - my own mind - it is satisfied with its own answer to its own rhetorical question. Now, I can think about the other members again. Hello, Heart. Hello, Belly. How do I start?
to be continued...

____: Criss cross the roads cross over episodes stone throw epicenter came the winter breeze bent birds frozen bones upon the shores splinter spider crept inside her hint of lemon zest of rise riddled rent and jigsaw spent on tangled lines swept out to sea sent shivers back in time rip tide ripples rich with quibbles about naught insight ten spite spikes anchored the wall to the window cracks showing in the amber light tint the tattered tomb tucked under the narration timbre without resonation vile vibrato vents from heated pipes steam sockets full of memory beat on the drum drum drum until dust pierces the light broken beam scattered dreams desire and dirt caked on cake crusted vein beats beats beat pull the gear butcher man father imprint pork belly rewind and set in sand motion locates and tampers thread golden dripped and apple pulled fruit fright fraught indent coast to empty and pitched shards eastward sew them back cauterized caramel squeezed dry and heaven sent

ALEX: Each spec of dust swept from the drum will never rest or land on one as one may guess the web was spun to ingest the coalesced son the spiders silk is warm and sweet like heated milk and satin sheets a clever ruse set to confuse the illustrious lead from his defeat repeat repeat repeat when awake the boy still sleeps opened eyes eternalized but behind those doors the mind was seized arrest the spider and wrest the web but still inside her the boy lays dead in shaky borders and blurred out frames forever to remain the same unless the hoarders pierce the silk and allow the milk to dribble out and seep into the forever fall the web will spin till curtain call enthralled with quibbles nailed into walls beseeching sibyl to recall what one was yours or theirs or mine and distribute each and reassign the overall script of riddled hints the salted wounds the fevers pitched the facade of feigning the twinge herein a waxing waning sediment deposit the silicate element innocent instruments in dissonant merriment dance 'round the web cut open and fed to the mouths of the vigilant innocents a sickening pyramid how does time permit a three-sided figure to circle the sun the silk though smooth still sticks like glue and the mouths which chew are forever silenced and there's nothing more militant than subdued violence

____: Hard tack heartier than heart attack dabs stacks ones tax dig grout out of eyelashes blink twice alive encased in carbon finer than the deadly scarf scented spider like violins still bleeding with each pump next to the other boil the curds and toil the earth plant deep seeds of resignation wrapped tight in the shell of your own skin crisp and brittle and bursting with life shaking from the drooping dew dusted spiral into cork diamonds from the glass in case extravagance lips taste yesterdays precipice woeful morning feather crust and break free hit twice the key unlocked untwined to ensnare powder wings velvet white brown cotton drown in dunes overdue plant knaves in steed dance prance in weeds roots grant the eve break heat and rearrange brined and moist with grit fingers scraped tongue howl lost the moonlight played on

ALEX: Where is The Hopelessly Lost?

____:  I'd page her but I don't think she can see this post


As if I've forgotten? She can see this post. I know you all can. I know you all do. 

repent repent repent

- afm

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Through the Halls

Can you turn off the light? The brightness hurts my head. Fluorescent buzzing, the swarming of memories you dread. Carve your initials in lockers and vandalize each desk. Maybe someone will ask who you were now that you're... My mind is a dangerous place to be alone. My mind is a dangerous place to be alone with you. Crumbled up papers of notes that were never read. Tripping on wires and words that have all been said. Tying up laces, retracing the places you fled. Maybe someone will answer the door now that you're... My mind is a dangerous place to be alone. My mind is a dangerous place to be alone. 
Residing in vacant places won't make them a home.
My mind is a dangerous place to be alone with you. I've feigned my own sickness.
To see who'd coming running,
But all I do is turn to run instead.
No one can match my quickness
When it comes to shunning/benumbing
Those who came to meet me at my bed/
The cure I need to rest my weary head.
My mind is a dangerous place to be alone. My mind is a dangerous place to be alone with you. Can you turn off the light? The brightness hurts my head.

- afm

Friday, April 15, 2016

"80's rap is soooooooooo great"

ALEX: 80's rap is garbage.

SOME BAMA: Alex McCurdy is garbage. See, anyone can say anything when they have no clue what they're talking about.

ALEX: Mid 80's rap laid the base of a culture, but to replace with waste makes you the lace, not a sculptor. 90's rap started to sculpture the sculptors that defaced the base of a race that was altered by white washed clans, I meant Klans, is that o-K? While they tried to disband those who fought in disarray. Subculture, sub-art, submissive and afraid, the above abused the privileges of those who they defaced. They replaced the heard with words of the popular Aerosmith and taught each youngster abroad what makes a rhyme forthwith, so they shook their heads sublime knowing what a "true" rap artist is, but while they were raptured in this figment the truth had gone adrift. The youth started to slip, the proof in the abyss of real rappers rhymes lost in time, and it just is a figment of our imagination and much like morning's condensation it's beautiful to look at, but the important matter is everything that drifts far beyond that swift abyss is a lesson to be learned: don't shutout the unheard.

SOME BAMA: *deletes comment*

*places mic down gently onto stage, since I ain't gon pay for it*


Saturday, April 9, 2016

The Alex Show - Episode 75

Some lessons are self-taught...


______: He's gone.

ALEX: You staying in this relationship and fighting for him as long as you did is not a reflection of denial or weakness, but rather your strength to persevere when times were persistently hard. He's not your responsibility. Every action - no matter how heavily influenced by others - is ultimately his action. He's accountable for them, not you. You breaking it off isn't giving up on him. People like you and I never truly give them up. Sometimes it's necessary to let go physically, especially if needed for your own well-being, but losing that person and that love isn't something you merely get over. Much like the loss of a loved one who passes away, it's something you have to cope with. Time will help, ______, but also keep yourself busy with positive vices. Surround yourself with good people and good vibes. It gets better. It always does. It has to.

______: That was beautiful. Thank you.


______: He's back.


... but that doesn't mean that they've been learned.

- afm

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Drowning Room (in a Burning City)

"Why does the world have to spin?" She asks standing still outside a room wherein All the shelves find themselves on the floor, And the contents, dizzy, are running for the door. Spent your mid-twenties burning cities. You were always good at swimming, But your belongings now are yearning for the shore. Plastered smile to hide the truth from surfacing. Painting portraits and brushing over those burdening. Each stroke felt like a blessing, but now the carpet's getting messy. An expressionism of all your shortcomings. The same goes for her. The same goes for him. The same goes for all Time and time again. A room disheveled and slowly emptied on its own. More room for bigger shelves, but all the same alone. The closet is a graveyard for the vast array Of drowning animals and poems you forsake. And the bedding in the frame will always feel the same when your feet are cold and warmth is miles away.
The carpet was wet and removed (to make room) For new expressions since the old have gone astray. Thoughts are scattered like a Pollock. The cerebration's not symbolic to any beauty that may or (may) not remain. The same goes for her. The same goes for him. The same goes for all Time and time again. "Why does the world have to spin?"

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

The Alex Show - Episode 74


ALEX: It's 3:30AM over there, and you're still kicking! Can't say I'm surprised. _____: You're always up at this hour, too! ALEX: No, no, no, no, no. I'm dead, remember? _____: Okay, so you're dead. Tell me your eulogy (life recap) in six sentences. Ready, go! ALEX: Alexander Franklin McCurdy. 
Together his name sounds like that of a President's, but he never made it to thirty-five.
Alexander alludes to the Great, the heart of a warrior, but even the greatest of warriors must fall in the end.
Franklin makes us twenty-somethingers all think of a turtle, but he lived his life at full throttle and always out of his shell.
McCurdy McTurdy McNerdy McFlirty smoother than a McFlurry.
Much like his late night chats with the whimsically endearing and lovely _____ _____ - who happens to have a ridiculously cute laugh - may he never rest.
Also, he hated the number six, so here's a seventh sentence. FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN Do you want to read it?

- afm

Thursday, March 17, 2016

The Eminent Wind

The wind howls like the alpha leading the pack, its gusts a scythe on the neck and back. It forcibly sunders with such attack that I cannot react to steady my aim. It pushes me out of this shaken frame. I cannot tame the God of Wind, or His Brother's pow'rs here within a world in which I cannot name. It's all the same as way back when my sturdy structure was rearranged into a fractured, mangled hair. In all despair, I gave up the game. What's rare in fact is deep in that idealistic proposal to switch the track, I somehow remained to stay intact while still disposing of the racks in which my birth was purposefully claimed. How am I now the one to blame if I bear no seeds to plant thy name? With such disdain I disavow the very name I once avowed to once reclaim and make renowned within this coarse, endowed domain. In the now I forsake such prodigious false acclaim. Somehow I've maintained the structure that once stood, though in the end it does no good, for if the end is imminent then eminence is purposeless, yet here I sit and circumvent this parliament of practices in circles spun in circles spent. It all whirls 'round just as the wind, and so it howls till my descent. Pushed to the ground in impotence, the wind will sound deliverance. I must admit, the wind brings air, and I don't care that I'm full of it.

- afm

Friday, February 19, 2016

The Alex Show - Episode 73

ALEX: If he can't handle your farts, he can't have your heart.
______: On the toilet now waiting for my Prince Charming. ALEX: Prince Plumbing. ______: Who hails from the kingdom known as El Segundo. ALEX: A dark and cavernous realm. ______: Sounds like Mordor. ALEX: Mierdor.


It can't be shitty all the time *ba doom ching*

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Because it's Valentine's Day and stuff. Crazy the difference a year makes :/

Thursday, February 11, 2016

She Gleamed Haiku

She gleamed like sunset, Spark'ling in radiant flames, Scolding my ashes.

- afm

A Quick Sip Haiku

Like brackish water We are sipped in and spat out; Backwash to them all.

- afm

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

January Covers

I've been somewhat musically prolific.
"I never would have given you up
If you only hadn't given me up."

"You want me?
Fucking come on and break the door down. 
I'm ready."

"This is how it works:
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe

Until their dying breath."

Shooting Range Haiku

I am a painter.
I never had the right brush.
Second Amendment.

- afm

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Poisoned Haiku

She sank her fangs in,
So I sucked out the venom
And swallowed it down.

- afm

A Balance in Faith Haiku

There is a balance,
But why did I regain faith
For you to lose yours?

- afm

Vacant Haiku

My house was foreclosed. 
You declared residency. 
The rooms are still bare.

- afm

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

The Mind of the Beholder Haiku

Crazy in the mind,
Much like beauty to the eye,
Is the beholder's.

- afm

Life of a Digger

Sick and I can't take it, or maybe I just fake it. Either way, your mentality truly affects your physicality, so I try not to embrace it. Tell my mental that I hate it. If I can trace back the steps that lead me to digress then I could get this off my chest and erase it. Face it, facing yourself is impossible. That's what mirrors are for. But my reflection will never be a true representation of me, just one perception perceived by what I want to see. Frustration overcomes. I smash in every one. Too afraid to face the day and see what I've become. Seven years of ill fate. Nineteen years of mistakes. Pull the curtains. Block the sun. You're worthless. The devil won. Idle hands. Fuck your friends. What friends? You have none. This isn't real life. It's just a dry run. Close your eyes and wake up! Make amends? Make an end. To start again is too rough. Buy the bullets and the gun. Bye bye, cruel world! This sure was fun. Sick and I can't take it, or maybe I just fake it. Either way, if I had good health and great wealth, I'd still end up in the hole that I dug. The life of a digger. Pull the trigger Pull the plug.

- afm

Unsafe Camp

A mark across the fence.
Don't let the wrong ones in.
I'm begging to begin.
To wander will depend
If I'll ever move again.
I'm hanging up my limbs.

Oh, so tired
From all the events
That transpired.
To carry on will only do me wrong,
So I must retire.

Better stop when the getting's good.
I was childish, a common fool
For thinking seeds could grow.
I planted them so deep in soil
That eventually they spoiled.
I stood waiting for the sprouts to show.

They breached an empty host
As I abandoned post.
Was there ever life below?
Rotting in the soil,
My limbs have all recoiled.
I guess I'll never know.

- afm

Monday, January 4, 2016

From Branches to Roots

The branches seek new heights. They stretch out farther than imaginable and attempt to cradle the sun, but they forget about their leaves. They are careless. So eager to clench Heaven's light, they dismiss the certainty to catch aflame. Their fingers burn. Their wrists recoil. Their hands decay. Their arms whither to the root of it; all the way down to the smoldering core that rose them from nothing. From wood to ash. From high-rise to base. From beings to soil. That is how the world changes. That is how it also stays the same.

- afm

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Top Albums of 2015

A list of my top 10 albums in 2015. Feel free to share some of your favorites!
10) The Color Before the Sun by Coheed and Cambria

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FAVORITE TRACKS: Colors, Here to Mars, Peace to the Mountain

9) Found In Far Away Places by August Burns Red

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FAVORITE TRACKS: Martyr, Broken Promises, Marathon

8) Connector by I the Mighty

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FAVORITE TRACKS: Psychomachia, (No) Faith in Fate, The Frame I: Betrayal in the Watchtower

7) Summertime '06 by Vince Staples

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FAVORITE TRACKS: Jump Off The Roof, 3230, Like It Is

6) My Love Is Cool by Wolf Alice

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FAVORITE TRACKS: Turn to Dust, Your Loves Whore, Freazy

5) In Colour by Jamie xx

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FAVORITE TRACKS: Loud Places, The Rest Is Noise, Girl

4) Every Waking Eye by CHVRCHES

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FAVORITE TRACKS: Leave a Trace, High Enough to Carry You Over, Bury It

3) B4.Da.$$ by Joey Badass

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FAVORITE TRACKS: Save the Children, Paper Trail$, Christ Conscious

2) Act IV: Rebirth in Reprise by The Dear Hunter

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FAVORITE TRACKS: Waves, A Night on the Town, Wait

1) To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar

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FAVORITE TRACKS: For Free? (Interlude), u, How Much a Dollar Cost