Saturday, December 8, 2012

On Lima Beans

Why do lima beans exist? Like, who actually enjoys a lima bean? 
"Would you like a midnight snack?"
"Oh yeah, just make a bowl of lima beans please!"
No. No one would ever want that. Ever. 
All those years as a child I thought I hated mixed vegetables. False. I just hated lima beans. Whenever I get those bags of mixed vegetables, I always take out each and every lima bean, so no one has to eat one. I wouldn't wish a lima bean upon my greatest enemy. No on deserves that kind of cruelty. Also, in the phonetic alphabet, is it Lima or lima? Because Lima, Peru isn't very American, but then again neither are lima beans - since they are clearly terrorists... terrorizing my tastebuds and all. Seriously, I think it is our duty to take a stand against the lima bean. Perhaps we should take a national poll determining the future of their existence, at least in the mixed vegetable category. Sure, if you decide to go out and buy a bag of lima beans for your own sadomasochistic needs then that's fine, but it doesn't mean that the rest of us should have to suffer. Who's with me?!

Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! Death to Lima beans! ...

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