The Alex Show - Episode 19

close your eyes and tell me, how many fingers am i holding up? two. one for me and one for you. the last two fingers have consisted of the following:

• potato salad. actual potatoes in lettuce with mixed vegetables and a bitter balsamic
• the confrontational roach. he glares, but he paralyzes nothing. also, he has perished... and by perished, i mean that he never should have scampered about my leg. i have a deadly scratch attack
  
• the office. i am not jim halpert! i am not jim halpert! i am not jim halpert! i am not jim halpert! i am not jim halpert! i am not jim halpert! i am not jim halpert! i am not jim halpert...
• being jim halpert. in reality, that kind of witty banter is only tolerable for a good twenty minutes or so. if you continue any further, you're no better than the world's best boss
• sasafras. i traveled to Africa, Australia (twice), PA, and Boring Land
  
• Africa. they serve outstanding coffee here. strong and cheap. nothing like that one mermaid who has been making big bucks by selling stars
  
• AUStralia 1. only in my dreams. if we were in Nice, then i wish i was a stone. at least then i would have a chance
• AUStralia 2. catch up time only to find surprise after surprise (without any expression). no hmmm-ing involved
  
• PA. ... is Gay
• Boring Land. you woke up early on a Saturday morning to open up shop while still snoring. If there be something more then quit living in Bore!
• Home. if my heart is here then it is no wonder that I am a bum
• Waltman. "Fuck you so much!"

plenty more fell between the cracks, but i don't plan on getting them back. AUS1 also helped me realize that my world is still spinning, but i am no longer dizzy. in conclusion, there is no word from the south.

- Alex McCurdy