10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!
FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN
____: Twenty-one in a row!
Alex: Lefties for life!
FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN
____: You are the only friend from high school that I see on a regular basis... at least the one I see the most of.
Alex: I'm flattered and sorry at the same time.
FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN
___: Fox.
I do not respond. I put my phone back in my pocket with a reluctant smile.
FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN
____: Do you promise to make sure what I tell you is kept to yourself and shared with no one else?!
Alex: I promise.
FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN
Alex: My new year's resolution is to stop being a bum and a douchebag.
____: I don't think you are either of those two things.
Alex: I am literally a bum because I am jobless and living in my friend's house [for free] since I do not have a home of my own. In doing so I am abusing his family's kindness and hospitality, thus being a douchebag. There. Two examples.
____: Times are tough, man. Everyone has their own problems.
Alex: Oh, don't get me wrong. What bothers me is that I am well aware of my problems and how to resolve them. I have relied too long on the belief that things always get better. If i can only get them to stay better then life would be more simple. Of course it does not work that way. I have to fight for it. I need to stop talking and start being more proactive because once I get these two main problems out of the way, everything else should fall into place.
____: I'm practically in the same boat except I'm further away than you are. For some reason I don't believe that I will ever deserve true happiness.
Alex: How can you possibly come to that conclusion?
____: Because I really care more about others than I do myself.
Alex: What makes you think caring for others more than yourself will lead to inevitable discontentment?
____: I don't feel the need to be happy to live my life. If i don't think being happy is worth it, then I don't deserve it.
Alex: Just because a man does not wish to find love, does not mean that love will not find him. Perhaps the same is with happiness.
____: Maybe that is so, but I'll just have to keep living the way I do. It's the only way I know.
Alex: Like almost anything in life, happiness is not a gift that is so easily given to you. It too is something you must fight for... much like a home or a job.
____: That's very true.
Alex: Maybe your new year's resolution should be a series of steps to obtaining that happiness. The pursuit of it, perhaps?
____: But like I said, happiness is not something I think I deserve.
Alex: Happiness - much like any food - is something that is only desired once you have had a taste of it. If you truly believe that you have not previously experienced true happiness, maybe that is why you lack the desire to obtain it. My point is that you must try whether you want to or not. Who knows? It may pay off in the end.
Alex is presenting any hope or any sign of getting it right the first time around.
____: Why should you try if you're just gonna die or throw in your towel by the final round?
Alex: Then why do you fight or think in the least if each premature thought will eventually cease?
____: You've made your point clear: we all disappear. Raise up your cup, or your beer, or your glass, and let out a cheer before present is past.
to be continued in 2010...
- Alexander McCurdy
1 comment:
Post a Comment