The Alex Show - Episode 22

___: You are cruel.

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___: Do you eat chicken?

Alex: Yes. I just had some actually. Why do you ask?

___: Can you eat happy chickens?

Alex: Happy chicken?

___: Yeah, because too many people eat sad chickens, and that's not okay.

Alex: Care to explain how you weigh the emotions of a chicken?

___: Sure! Most of the chickens you get at grocery stores are not happy. They are farmed in terrible conditions. They never go out in sunlight; locked in overcrowded rooms. They are genetically altered to carry so much meat on them that they cannot even walk! If you're going to end up killing them, why not let them live a happy life in the mean time?

Alex: Most of the chicken... in fact, all of the chicken I get at grocery stores are dead. Therefore they are not happy nor are they sad. They are not much of anything actually, just a very dead bird.

___: But why is it so hard to just let them live happy lives before we kill them?

Alex: Chicken have feelings. Physical ones, but I doubt they can grasp the sentiment of sunlight or leading a good life. They are animals. Birds. Not even parrots! They do without thinking or reasoning and are not effected by whether or not they live prosperous or happy lives.

___: They are still living organisms. Humans don't naturally have the right to dominate every life-form they see. If you're going to use them for your own benefit, let them live a good life!

Alex: Not all living beings desire to live good lives as humans do, and since humans are the dominant creature, we do posses that right. Do you cry when people mow the grass?

___: That's different.

Alex: How? Grass is a living matter, yet we cut it down at our whim.

___: Yes, it is, but I'm not saying, "Don't eat chicken!" or "Don't cut grass!"

Alex: What are you saying then?

___: I'm saying that even the worst predators in the world let their prey live happily before they kill it.

Alex: What matter does it make if you live happily if you know you're going to be killed? It seems more sick to deceive something you intend to destroy.

___: No. We don't destroy them. We're using them for food.

Alex: ___, we are literally destroying their lives. What difference does it make what for? If our intention from the start is to kill this creature, how we do it and for what reason we do it is not the matter. The fact that we do it is.

___: We are making it so that chickens cannot have any other way to live. No organism deserves that, especially if it's providing us with food.

Alex: The chicken is the food! What difference does it make how we treat it if we're still going to eat it? You are not making a clear point or a solution. You're just whining.

___: My solution is that people need to eat happy chickens.

Alex: No, that is a resolution. The solution would have the steps to get people there. Besides, whether the chicken is happy or sad, we still kill it. In the end, the chicken cannot win, so your cause seems unfulfilled.

___: The chicken can win. We just don't let it. Ugh! Americans think like ancient Europeans, and it's disgusting.

Alex: And you think like an eighteen year old girl, and it's silly.

___: I think more like someone who wants every being to be happy with the time it has on this planet.

Alex: Oh, then I take that back. You think like a child, and you need to grow up.

___: Wanting that is not a bad thing!

Alex: No, it is a wonderful thought, but in this world it is impossible. I am not trying to be a Debbie downer, just being realistic. Not everything can be happy all of the time, and even if it was, a Pleasantville would get annoying. We need color. All colors, even if those colors are blacks and blues. We need variation, contrast. Living in a world of white would make us just as blind as living in a world of black. Understand?

___: No. I am too sad to understand. You burst my bubble of hope.

Alex: You'll be fine. Be a happy chicken.

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Alex: I am not cruel. I believe in debating. I was merely raising points, and this conversation would have been pointless if I simply agreed with you.

- Alex McCurdy