"The Alex Show" Episode 1, part II

Allow me to set the scene. It would seem apparent that I am apparent by now, but we all know that would be another silly fabrication of hers. In reality she is tuning in right now. You are, too. It is almost impossible not to. After all, your own life is influenced and dishonest. You can purchase smiles and other physical garments to cover your impurity, but no matter how vigorously you scrub, you will never rid of that invisible coat of dirt. You will always be able to smell it. Don't get me wrong, dressing up is fun and all, but to pretend is to work, and I know you are tired. It is pleasant to sit back and just watch sometimes, so pop some corn, order a pizza, and sprawl out on your mattress. Let us begin.

FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN

This is how I always start. I need your attention, so put it on a shelf with a cheaply priced sticker. I cannot afford to buy all of you, so flip the switch if Peter Griffin is more of an interest. Oh, I almost forgot my disclaimer.

DISCLAIMER: The several differences between what you are viewing now and the concept film they created back in 1998 are simple:

• there are only two cameras, one for each of my eyes
• there are only two mics, located in each of my ears
• my name is Alex (pretty common, I know. I am aiming to get my middle name in the title, as well)
• I have been fully aware of this show's existence since I was four (1993)
• there is no door. the world is my boundary, but I plan on breaking even that
• I know that everyone is an actor. It's what people do

Now let us begin.

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"I feel like I am wearing a helmet!" she screams.

to be continued...

- Alexander McCurdy