Sunday, March 1, 2009

"The Alex Show" Episode 2, part II

I now realize - now is far too late - that I can never pick up exactly where I left off. It contradicts the point of these episodes all together. At the same time, I clearly cannot sit here and tell you what you are viewing. If I were to do so, I would incessantly be writing, "I am typing what you can see, so you can read what you have seen." There is no entertainment in that. I would be a liar if I were to say that I am not trying to entertain you. It would be like a musician saying, "I only write music for me, and if people catch on, that's just dandy." That is a bullshit statement for, "If you do not like my music, it's because I was not writing it for you to enjoy or even notice." My lack of insecurity here will tell you that if a musician was only creating music for himself, he would never record it. Anyways, if you are ever second guessing your existence, you can always go online and see that this is happening. You would know me to be real, and at the end of the day that might comfort you. Well, it discomforts me knowing that that would be it: an eternity of me sitting here, constantly updating and informing faithful viewers and unwarranted stalkers that reality is reality. Short version: I will recap certain events that I know are worth remembering. You can call it a "Best of" blog, or "Alex's Favorites." No matter what you call it, I want you to know that I will always be a channel, a go back one page, or a rewind away. With that being said, I will continue.

DISCLAIMER: Now that you know that I know that you know, it might get a little confusing from here. It's like I told Maggie, "I talk like I play chess."

FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN

Strength and weakness swirl together, clinging and pushing, clinging and pushing, unsure of their relation or their purpose. She stops.

"Has it been longer than three minutes?" she thinks aloud. "I cannot feel my chest. The water... I almost forgot! This is not my sight. This is not right." She turns to me in surprise. "Alex, you scared me! What are you doing here?"

I remain silent. I have always had this fear of being abandoned. I know you are always watching, but contact is my orphan. Clinging and pushing, clinging and pushing. I will never leave.

"These shelves... they are not mine, are they?" she interrogates. She is remembering.

"The water is not all you forgot, ____. You are not standing where you stand, or even at all."

She looks down at her feet, seeing how they merge into the floor. "Then how am I?"

"This is how you analyze the insides. Now stop knowing, and go back to wondering. It is easier that way. Wake up, ____. Wake up!"

FLASH FLASH FLASH SPIN SPIN SPIN

I do not know where she goes from here. I have my assumptions, but there is no "____ Show" for me to follow. How fortunate you are. Yes, you. You are fortunate to have me here.

to be continued...

- Alexander McCurdy

2 comments:

~hailing hails said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chatterchuga said...

i'm glad i have you! C: